I keep hearing from readers that the sex talks at the beginning of False Queen were a favorite. 😉
Have you ever had to deliver (or receive) the birds and the bees talk? My family was awkward about that stuff and avoided the topic so I turned to Seventeen Magazine, YM, and Cosmopolitan when I was a young teen. I found historical romance to be extremely informative as well – especially to read aloud to my little brother and sister when I babysat. Yeah, heard a lot of “ews” back in the day. I was the older perv who was like, “yummy.” 🤣
Below, you can read an excerpt of the sex talk Aerith has with Melarue after she crashes her vacation in the mortal world. If you haven’t read Stolen Princess yet, you’ll want to do so first to avoid spoilers. Enjoy! 😜
After ripping down the slopes, Devdan and I returned to the lodge in high spirits. We deposited our rented boards into tall lockers and walked into the lobby where we spotted Aerith and Jhaeros playing a board game at a table beside a roaring fire. No surprise.
Aerith had changed into black leggings and a bright multicolored striped fuzzy sweater. Her blonde hair tumbled over her shoulders, covering her ears.
They didn’t notice me until I spoke. “Don’t tell me you brought your campaigne board with you.”
Aerith kept hawk eyes on the board, not responding until she’d moved one of the white pieces.
“I didn’t need to,” she said cheerfully. “Humans have an almost identical version called chess. Isn’t that wonderful?” She picked up one of the smaller pieces with a round top and held it up to me. “They call shrubs, pawns; mages, bishops; archers, knights; and towers, rooks. Isn’t that interesting?”
“Yeah, fascinating,” I answered, not masking the boredom from my voice. “What do they call kings and queens?”
“Those are the same.”
I folded my arms. “So, are we going swimming?”
Aerith looked over her shoulder at the darkened windows. “Oh, gosh. We lost track of time. We can start up a new game tomorrow.”
“We can?” Jhaeros asked, his face falling. He still wore his hat, which wasn’t uncommon with humans coming in from the mountain wearing winter gear.
Aerith stood and looped her arm around mine. “Jhaeros, why don’t you and Devdan have a drink at the bar while Mel and I change into our suits?” She gave Jhaeros a pointed stare.
His gaze went from Aerith to Devdan and seemed to lock there. “I could use a drink,” Jhaeros said.
Devdan forced a smile. “Me too.”
“Great! Give us about twenty minutes.” Aerith yanked my arm, pulling me toward the elevators. “What floor are you on? We’ll grab your suit, bring it to my room, and change together.” Inside the elevator, I pressed the button to the third floor. Aerith beamed. “We’re on the third floor, too. How perfect!”
As soon as the doors closed, I turned to Aerith, hands on my hips. “Tell me Jhaeros isn’t about to give Devdan some kind of lecture.”
Aerith squinted at me. “Mel, whatever do you mean?”
“A birds-and-the-bees talk, as humans call it.” When Aerith continued to stare at me in confusion, I spelled it out. “S-E-X.”
She leaned back and snorted. “Can you imagine Jhaeros speaking to Devdan about sex?”
“Then what are they doing together?” I hadn’t missed the secretive look Aerith flashed Jhaeros.
“Having a drink while I have a sex talk with you.”
I lifted my hands and covered my face. “Ugh.”
Luckily, the elevator doors opened and I was able to rush free of the metal box into the corridor. Aerith kept pace, following me inside my room. The bed was freshly made, and everything was put away nicely thanks to the lodge’s friendly housekeeping staff.
While I fished through my suitcase on the floor, Aerith spoke at my back.
“I realize that you and Devdan are, in all likelihood, having sex.”
I groaned, which didn’t deter Aerith.
“I want to make sure you’re taking precautions.”
“Yep. Got it covered.” Like literally. Humans had these handy little things called condoms. I really didn’t want to explain them to my sister. I pushed aside several sweaters and a pair of pajamas before reaching my two-piece bathing suit. The top had a pineapple pattern that covered my entire chest and part of my torso where it met with a pair of bright aquamarine boy shorts.
“I never thought I’d get pregnant, so I didn’t bother with tinctures—and now look at me.”
“Oh my sky, Aerith!” I swung around, bathing suit gripped against my middle. “We’re taking precautions every time!”
“Have there been a lot of times?” She cocked her head to one side and stared into my eyes, unblinking.
I squeezed my eyes closed. “Can we not talk about this?”
“Sure. I just want to make sure he’s treating you well.”
I reopened my eyes. “He is. Devdan’s a complete gentleman, but not the boring kind. He treats me with respect and doesn’t do anything I don’t want to do.”
Aerith nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. I mean, I packed my bow and arrows just in case.”
She laughed. “Just kidding. Let’s go to my room and get changed before Jhaeros finishes his drink and walks in on us.”
“Arrrrrrg. I’m putting the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door and bolting it until after we’ve changed.”
Aerith’s room was at the other end of the hall. Unlike my room, the sheets were bunched up and rumpled. Ew! I did not want to think about Jhaeros on top of my sister, which naturally, led my mind in that very direction. “Oh, oh. Aerith.” His lusty, pretentious voice echoed inside my head. “Oh.” Nooooo! Marshmallows with cocoa. I mean cocoa with marshmallows.
“Mel? What are marshmallows?”
Had I said that out loud?
“They are these squishy white sugar puffs,” I answered. “You’d love them.” Yes, let’s talk about marshmallows.
“You eat them?” Aerith asked.
I nodded vigorously. “Soft, chewy sweetness.”
Aerith rubbed her lips together. “I need to try these.”
“Yes, you do, but let’s take a swim first.” I needed to cool off before I combusted from this mortifying conversation.
I went into the bathroom to change. Elves weren’t typically modest, but I’d never been into group nudity, especially in the bedroom Jhaeros shared with my sister. I changed into my suit and put an oversized T-shirt over it. When I returned to the bedroom, Aerith stood in a pink string bikini with ruffles along the edges. Her belly had a soft swell, and her breasts had gotten bigger and were jostling to free themselves from her top.
I was about to ask whether she had a T-shirt or cover-up for the trip down to the pool when a firm knock sounded at the door.
“That must be Jhaeros,” Aerith said cheerfully as she swept by me.
I heard the click of the deadbolt before she opened the door—followed by a male gasp.
“Oh. Sweet. Berries,” Jhaeros murmured.
More like melons.
I snatched a towel from the bathroom and hurried over, afraid Devdan was in the hallway gaping at Aerith as well. But Jhaeros was alone, wide-eyed with his jaw hanging open.
I pulled the door open wider and glowered at Jhaeros. “Hey, Jhaer. Humans have these things called cameras. Why don’t you take a picture? It will last longer.”
Aerith chuckled. “Well, we did buy a photo frame in the gift shop earlier, but I want us all to be in the picture.”
I threw the towel at Aerith, hoping she’d catch it and cover up, before pushing past Jhaeros into the hallway.
“I’ll see you at the pool.”
Jhaeros and Aerith didn’t answer. Judging by the heated look they shared, they weren’t leaving their room anytime soon.
Join Aerith and Mel for more sexy times and adventures in False Queen. #OhBehave